Comparing what we have

Do you ever run into those people in life where their entire life just seems “perfect” somehow?
I do, I do quite a lot actually. I know, I know, I really shouldn’t try to compare my life to others because I truly don’t know what happens “behind the scenes” or what they had to go through in life to get to “that place,” but it’s really hard not to notice.

I notice, compare, and even start to envy… I really should be ashamed, I know, my life isn’t bad by any means and I really have no room to compare my life to theirs but in the moment, I can’t remember any of this. All I know is that I “wish” I had whatever it is that they have. A better “this”, a newer “that”, a life where everything seems easier and less stressful. The latter is the most difficult for me though. I don’t really mind not always having “newer and better” but in the midst of a stressful day at home (or really wherever) I find my self thinking about how *enter random name of the day here* seems to have it all together and I feel like I’m struggling to barely make it every day. Struggling to get out of bed every morning to start my day, struggling to stay positive and not let frustrations get the best of me, struggling to get the every day “supposed to be easy stuff” done, struggling to get my laundry caught up, struggling to keep up with never ending dishes and keeping two kids fed and healthy. It looks pretty darn easy for some people, yet no matter how hard I try I just can’t seem to cut it. I feel like I’m taking on the world and just somehow seem to keep falling a little more behind every day.

Don’t get me wrong, I am insanely blessed and I know it. I get to be a stay at home mother and wife, I have a husband who makes this possible and I don’t have to worry about where our next meal (or rent) is coming from. Not everyone has these luxuries. I know I am incredibly blessed, it’s just way too easy to forget that while “looking” into others’ lives, comparing mine to theirs. I mean really, who am I to compare my self like that anyway? I do believe it’s a sin to envy someone (or their life) because you wish you had something they have…. Like God has been unjust, or forgotten to give me something I “deserve”. This is where I am a bit ashamed. By comparing and wishing my life was like their life I am showing ungratefulness, setting my self up for failure and to be let down, and also setting my self up for one heck of a bad mood. All of this and lets not forget the impact it has or will have on my two beautiful girls.

Do I want them to grow up never finding contentment? Feeling ungrateful even when they have a million things to be grateful for? Absolutely not.

I want to work on being content with my life and stop comparing my self to others so much. Instead, try to just be happy with the life I DO have. The one God gave me without “owing” me one second. The life that could have ended before it begun, and still could end any day He chooses. I’m also going to start reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts again. Yes, I did say again…. :) It is one of the most inspiring and uplifting books I have read.

So join me in finding contentment and learning to be grateful for every thing (big or small) we have been blessed with.

Kayla